Suspect bowling actions, unorthodox footwork and sloppy fielding that would make coaches weep.
All of these will hopefully be absent at the Gabba on Thursday, but they were all on display during the first real Ashes grudge match on Wednesday.
The Fanatics and the Barmy Army faced-off in Brisbane for the first game of the Bashes, the series sideshow between supporters.
Players from both sides said they were taking it seriously, despite the pre-match warm up consisting of drinking beer.
“If England play Australia at anything – or a game of cricket between two sides – it is always competitive,” said Barmy Army co-founder Paul Burnham
“We would like to win.
“There has been a bit of banter but we are looking forward to the talking stopping and the cricket starting properly tomorrow.”
The sledging started early with the English asking the home side if they needed help remembering the words of the national anthem.
They soon regretted it though, with their bowlers smashed all over the park in the early stages by the Aussies they put in to bat.
The travelling fans’ play might not have benefited from the pre-match strategy meeting. The team line-up was fixed in a pub last night between 10pm and 2am (AEST), they said.
And the straw boater-wearing fielders toiled, unaccustomed to the Queensland heat.
One thing that needed addressing was the Stuart Broad question: would batsmen walk if they were out to a slight nick or wait for the umpire?
Both sides were in agreement – leave the decisions to the man in the white coat.
“That’s their job, we don’t want to take their job, they have to feed their family and earn a wage,” joked Fanatics’ Phil Townsend.
“If we start walking then all of a sudden the umpires aren’t required and kids are starving.”
“Our boys will do the right thing I’m sure,” added the Barmy Army’s Giles Wellington.
“If they nick it, they will wait for the umpire’s decision.”
So who will win the real thing?
“I’m loudly confident actually. I really do believe this England side can play a lot better than they did a few months ago,” Mr Burnham added.
“The wickets will suit them. Stuart Broad is fired up, and James Anderson and Graeme Swann I would rate as the best swing and spin bowlers in the world at the moment.”
And Australia?
“History shows that when the Fanatics get off to a great start Australia does, too,” Mr Townsend said.
“The last couple of series we have probably not been on our games and we have worked long and hard over the last couple of months to put together a team for today’s game.”